The Postmodern Chronicles Of Hayley

I never left the 20th Century… Only my body.

My Best Friend’s Got A Boyfriend

By Hayley Brown 

My best friend’s got a boyfriend 

At first they were quite cute 

Now they play the tonsil hockey 

Enough to make you puke. 

 

I refrain from looking at them 

I sit and play my phone 

I see them going at it 

And then I feel alone 

 

She’s like Hermione Granger 

He’s her Ronald Weasley 

Whenever I see the tongues come out 

I begin to feel quite queasy.

I have a boyfriend too 

Who has a boyish charm 

Her boyfriend carries moisturizer 

And regularly applies lip balm. 

 

A questionable sexuality? 

Or a sensitive new age guy 

Perhaps he’s metrosexual 

Well, that’s no lie. 

 

My boyfriend is extremely strange 

With a shoelace to hold up his pants 

He does in grocery shopping 

In my pajama pants. 

 

I guess I can’t complain 

I guess I should be happy 

They shouldn’t be so nauseating 

And not be so very sappy. 

 

My best friend’s got a boyfriend 

They make me feel quite sick 

It won’t be long till she’s in his bed 

Massaging his shoulders. 

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5 Responses to “My Best Friend’s Got A Boyfriend”


  1. Fucking….AWESOME!


  2. and a blog comment.

  3. Ellie

    WHat the fuck? Thats really terrible…
    Maybe you should have had a thought before you posted that…I know this happened ages ago, I heard about it ages ago. But thats really slack…your bestfriend? Clearly not if you go fuckin posting shit like that.


  4. In response to ‘Ellie’-
    Lighten up! It was a joke and they both knew that. It did happen ages ago and I don’t see what the point was bringing it all back again.
    Kind regards…
    Haylo

  5. katrina

    hey noob to the world of hayley site
    - my response despite any intentional/unintentional bitchiness: i think its brill

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