The Postmodern Chronicles Of Hayley

I can’t say that really have anything to complain about. But then again, who wants to read a blog where all the author does is complain? Sure, at times cynicism can be funny, but after a while it starts to take a negative effect on the readers. Besides, I love you all too much to do that to you. And those of you who are complete and utter bastards/pricks/knobs/buttheads/trouser-snakes etc. - you all know who you are.

Today sees the end of what has been a very productive two week holiday. I spent the entire second week at my Ma & Pa’s house so I could study in peace. I love my home, but there’s only so much of my brother’s heavy metal drumming that one can take during the HSC period. Ma & Pa live in a retirement village, which is rather picturesque! Quite often, I’d take walks around the village at around 11pm after studying all day. I found myself creeping and tip-toeing around the premises, as not to wake up any friendly senior citizens… That was before I came to the realisation that this was completely ridiculous and unnecessary - 99% of the residents are as deaf as doorknobs. It was also for this reason that I didn’t hesitate to turn up my subwoofer full blast, as the woman who lives downstairs from Ma & Pa is approaching 90 and struggles even to hear her doorbell ring!

I’d be lying if I denied the fact that I was spoiled rotten on my stay at their house. How many people crawl into bed at 3am after studying to find that their grandmother has ever so kindly wrapped their pyjamas in a hot water bottle?! Or get away with ‘accidently’ eat all the hazelnut chocolate during a midnight snack at the pantry? Pa ran down to the supermarket at 8:30pm just because I needed highlighter pens! Each night after snorting a Ritalin to begin my nightly PIP writing, I would be accompanied by a little bowl of home-roasted almonds, a chocolate eclair and a cup of raspbetty and peach herbal tea. I was certainly spoiled in many little ways that most people would overlook.

During my stay, I also came face-to-face with the generation gap that I had long denied between my Pa & I. Sure, he made me a cubby house for Christmas when I was three from scratch and taught my mother to take apart and then reassemble a car by the time she was 13, but when it comes to computers… there are some things that we are so lucky to have been introduced to at such a young age. In this case, computers. I didn’t see a PC until I was about 8, but that’s given me plenty of time to adapt. Pa on the other hand, has a relationship with his computer that best resembles a father and his adolescent daughter. He wants more than anything to understand how they work, but no matter how hard he tries, he ends up getting more confused. For instance, I was on their (pensioner’s dial-up) internet talking on MSN. Getting distracted, as I do, I got up and left the computer. About 10 minutes later, Pa is looking at the computer’s toolbar and scratching his head. “I have no idea what this program does… ‘Keby - Conversation’ I’ve never seen it before. It’s not on Microsoft Office, is it?” I proceeded to close the program (which of course, was Keby talking to me on MSN), which resulted in getting more frustrated because he wanted to know how I made it disappear. I must say, it’s pretty difficult explaining why things disappear when you Rightclick>Close. It’s like explaining to someone who has been blind their whole life, what colours are.

At present, I am (again) in the Bradfield Library waiting for Tom to finish his Multimedia class.

I think I just farted… God, I no one comes within smell-shot of me!